Day 23: RAPTORS

Okay...so before I start my incredible story about the Toronto Raptors...I would just like to make a small announcement...its been brought to my attention that "certain individuals" who are readers of this blog find the language it contains mildly offensive. I dont give a &$!%. Its my blog! I MADE it to offend people. if you dont like it, dont read it. its not a disney movie. anyways...on to bigger and better things! :)





Ben and J Moon!



For those of you who dont know I am a recent recipient of a $5000 scholarship from the raptors foundation for kids. CHA CHING! So this weekend i had to go to their annual gold tournament and give a speech thanking them for their work. Turns out my speech was pretty hot...i got a standing ovation! yeee baby. The sickest part was i got to meet Chris Bocsh, Jamario Moon, Andrea Bariani and some others starting lineup players. There tall sons of bitches! i thought they were gunnah step on me, it was scary shit. Jamario Moon thinks he can take me on in wheelchair basketball...he was talkin smack...so i challenged him to a game and hopefully we will be hittin that up sometime soon!

So far my list of famous people ive been drunk with and/or around is quite extensive!

• Dragonette
• Jamario Moon
• Joseph Boyden
  

Day 18: BOYDEN

So today was pretty sickkkkkk. Joseph Boyden, author of Three Day Road (One of my favorite books) came to Trent today and did a reading and signing with his wife Amanda Boyden, also an author. I was hangin out after the signing with some upper year kids who live in The Cheese and sit on the College Council. We were approached by Ray Dart, our college principal, who asked if he would like to join us for a pint with Joseph and Amanda and some other important people from trent. thinking this was a rhetorical question, i didnt answer and first, but then gave a very enthusiastic "Hell yea man!" so off we went to the oldstone, a resturaunt downtown, and Joseph bought us a few pints! it was pretty cool...had some good beer and good times, plus i got my book signed. Im pretty tight with Ray now too...he has some good stories, like how he got robbed in Barselona, hes a good guy, turns out he knows John Gearin and his infamous vader Lake Hockey parties! small world...

Day 17: WINDOW MAN

So i was chillin in my room today...i had just woken up...i was having a coffee, checking emails...you know...the regular morning stuff. I had to take a whiz pretty bad, which is a common morning routine for most people...but when i return from that i notce that SUDDENLY there is a man hanging outside my window! WTF! how very strange! what was this mans business with my window! i quickly realized he was a window cleaner and he had come to make my window sparkly clean. oh. how very nice of him. I opened my window a crack to talk to him, i figured he must get lonley hanging 200 feet above the ground. i thought his job was interesting so i asked him what kind of resume one would need to pursue such a career. i invited him in for a beer but he had a harness on and he had a job to do. okay superman. go clean those windows. haha....i guess he was a little "tied up". he wasnt very friendly. not much of a people person i guess. maybe thats why hes a window cleaner? who knows?

Day 16: FOOD

So im sure all you unlucky people who dont have the pleasure of attending Trent are curious to know whats its like here. So today i thought Id give you the scoop about our food...no pun intended. we have awesome food here. Trent has 4 residences each equipped with its own cafeteria. 2 are on Board Plans (basically meaning all you can eat buffets..) and the other 2 are on Flex Plans. esentially, if you are on a flex plan you get x amount of money to spend in the cafeterias that goes something like a trent debit card. Flex plan cafeterias have chains in them (pizza pizza, pita pit, tim hortons) ect. and board plans are buffets that change up ever day. I get 16 board meals a week (at buffets) plus $400 to spend everywhere else. its a pretty sweet deal really. the food here is great. today for lunch we had veal parmesian. yesterday we had pulled pork sandwhiches. plus they always have a salad bar, a deli, cereal, ice cream, fresh fruit, a soup counter, and plently to drink. check the video out and youll see what i mean!

Check out the Vids below! you may recognize Maddy (my laundry coach, who has insisted i call her "Madeline the Great" ) in some of the attached media.

Day 14: PRIVATE

hello loyal blog readers!
i know ive been slackin on the blog posts but hey...im in university....you arnt...i wish i could just sit on my around all day like you...but...i cant. i have work to do.

Anyways...i have some very exciting news to share with you all. The other day I was walking around Gzowski, im not saying i was drinking but maybe i was...and all of the sudden i stumbled across this door that said "PRIVATE" in huge golden letters. Being the philosopher that I am, my curiousity was naturally aroused. and hey! what do you know? the door was unlocked. So i opened it a crack and peeked it. What could possibly be in there? a grow op? a meth lab? a sex slave ring? a portal to Narnia? hell...i dunno...but i was determined to find out. so i opened the door a crack and saw someone walking around in there...this whole peeking process only lasted for about 3 seconds but im pretty sure the room was completly empty. This was scary shit i was dealing with....i didnt wanna get shot at by meth heads you know? So i went and rallied the troops in search of reinforcments. Maybe 20 mins later I returned with my friend Dougie....we were all physched out ready to do this. we were gunnah bust through the door and discover the secrets of this private room. Amazingly the door was LOCKED! did they know we were comming? do they have spies? how could someone have locked the door that quick? i dunno but this freaked us out. Posted above are some pictures, but we are not giving up just yet. sometime in the near future were gunnah go back there with Max....who can talk his way out of anything...just incased we get captured. Max also has a slingshot, and it is wise to be armed when undertaking such dangerous endevours.

Day 11: Laundry

So amazingly I packed enough clothes with me to last an entire 11 days. I probably could have milked it and made it to 15 or so...but hey...i had nothing to do so i decided to do some laundry. this was a new and exciting experience for me, i was scared, nervous, but admittedly i was a little excited. Prior to today I had never done laundry before (im a momma's boy) so I had to learn the ropes. I recruited my friend Mady to show me how its done. I dubbed her my "Laundry Coach". So first things first...Mady tells me I have to do all my dark's speratly from the colored clothing (i actually already knew that but i didnt wanna get cocky) So i went and grabbed all my black and grey stuff. "No no!" maddy says..."you can get more!"....and she presisted on telling me that i could put oranges, greens, and blues in too....they fell under the "dark" category. WHAT THE HELL?!?! are green blue and orange not colours? If you put those colours in with the dark
load then whats the point of doing a colour load?! it dosent make ANY sense! and....to make things even worse....theres a "Light" category as well. so...you have your "darks" your "colours" and your "lights"...but for some reason pretty much any colour at all can go in your dark load. i mean...how is orange a dark colour? orange is like the brightest colour there is. its the colour of the SUN which is exactly OPPOSITE to dark. holie fuck...these people who invented laundry really need to get there shit together. So that pissed me off and confused me...but i was very presistant and didnt give up. I learned how to measure out the soap, turn on the wash cycle, and even put your quarters in the little slot thingy. after my load was finished being washed i threw everything in the dryer...i thought i was doing fine but my friend Dougie insisted otherwise...according to Doug i had forgotten to put "the smelly sheet things" in. so he ran to his room to get me some. he said its so my clothes dont smell like a wet dog, and he tossed the sheets into the dryer. Fantastic! now instead of my clothes smelling "wet" they can smell like a feild of lavender! much better!!! i can smell like a charming purple flower! maybe next time im wearing my favorite shirt we can all sit around doing tie dye and braiding our hair!
holie freg...im never doing laundry again

Day 9: BOOKS

So today was my second day of class....I went to Ancient history and have Phyc and Philosophy later on today. After my lecture I went to the bookstore to pick up the rest of my books, this was my third trip to the bookstore since i moved in and i am just finished getting them all now.
here is a breakdown of what ive spent:

1. Creating a Dynamic Classroom-$48
2. Introducing Philosophy-$94
3. Classics of Western Philosophy-$35
4. Psychology and Life-$121
5. Writing for Psychology -$35
6. The Adventures of Huck Finn-$5
7. Twelfth Night-$5
8. Country Wife $20
9. Photocopied English Text-$20
10. Running in the Family-$10
11. Bird in the House-$10
12. Top Girls-$10
13. The Boys-$11
14. Pride and Predjudice-$11
15. Photocopied History Text-$114
16. The Aeneid-$14
17. The Oddesy-$20
18. The Ilyad-$20
19. Companion to Virgil-$33

So heres my grand total...
Trip 1: $205
Trip 2: $139
Trip 3: $317

GRAND TOTAL: $661

DAY 8: CLASS

I know I know...ive been slacking....somehow ive missed 2 days of blogging...thats an entire weekend! im sure all you loyal readers out there are probably thinking..."Whats going on man?!?! no stories?!? What the hell! what the HELL!" but hey man...im in university and my life is pretty chalked full of business....so i do what i can with this whole blog thing. if i miss a day or two...relax...it happens.

anyways...ill keep you guessing as to what i did this weekend...use your imagination....hell....start your own blog..."What Ben May Have Done This Weekend"...its real easy. But anyways...today was monday...the first day of actual classes and to tell you the truth it wasnt too bad. it rained. that kinda sucked. but i only had one class today so it was pretty chill. The Queens Con Ed class is pretty boring but theres alot of philosophy involved in that so some of its pretty cool i guess. yeaaa...sorry this post is so boring....maybe i should write about my weekend....haha phyc! had you going there tho didnt i?! Anyways yea...thats pretty much all i did today...went to class, ate some lunch, came back here and hid from the rain. really the only reason im posting this. OH i did check out the fencing team...yea im still doin that by the way. Alright so Doug is here and im peacin...i will tell you this loyal readers...
we have planned a HEIST!
more details to come...
MCCOLL OUT!

DAY 5: INUSHTOOK

Today was a pretty chillin day. I was chillin out maxin relaxin all cool....u kno? I went swimming with 4 west in the river. The Otonabee is a pretty awesome place to swim and im hoping to maybe do some fishin there soon. After we swam we were messin around with all these huge rocks...not quite boulders but almost boulders. boulder wanna bees. we decided there wasnt enough signage around campus to guide lost people home...so we built an Inushtook to guide lost eskimos home. (if any eskimos are reading this you can come to my room cuz its like freezing cold man!) We named our Inushtook ET, apparently cuz it looked like an extra trestrial. I thought it stood for E-nush T-ook but apparently i was wrong. The nightlife on friday was pretty crazy. we had a pub night in Gzowski and we all wore togas. It was pretty lame for me because i got kicked out. my friend max bought me a drink and gave it to me but i wasnt even sure if it was alcholic so i drank some and some bitch lady saw me and asked me to leave. THEN i got kidnapped by this crazy chick and she was like "OC is having a SCAVENGER HUNT!...you should come cuz we need someone from Gzowski!!!" so i went with her but it was just ending. Then i left but went out throught this weird door and ended up getting lost. these 2 girls said i could get back to "The Cheese" if i went up this huge staircase...but i stairmastered up and it was like....deserted with all these parklots and dumpsters. then i found these guys from OC and they missioned me back to Gzowski...unfourtnatly my amazing plan of sneaking back into the pub was a no go cuz some lady had an ashthma attack and dislocated her knee. how does that happen? i mean...thats just bad luck...an ashma attack AND a busted knee? damn.

**Please Note**

this whole consecutive day thing is getting to be a bit too much...from now on i probably wont post every day...but who knows?

a note on things that trip me out...

Things that trip me out:

1. Mirrors: to an ordinary person, a mirror may seem like a boring, every day object found in ones bathroom facilities. not me. I mean...think about it. when you look in a mirror, you can see yourself looking back at you. your looking at yourself from a 3rd person perspective and a 1st person perspective....BOTH AT ONCE! Your eyes are looking into the eyes of yourself, who is really looking back at you...whos still looking at you...like its truly incredible. multiple mirrors double the fun. Ever been in a barbershop where everyone has their own mirror? that shit is whack, and dont even get me going on disco balls.

2. Beats: People who make beats fascinate me. these people....producers i guess you could call them...they specialize in making, and describing beats to one another. So if you got some crazy techno song being made...like how do they do that? how do they produce that shit?! Are they like "Yo Raul....im not feelin the *wika wika* we gotta change the *wikka wikka* to a *zim zam*" is that how they descibe these noises to one another well in the recording studio? change the *blam* to a *snap snap*

3. Pinecones: Pinecones also trip me out. like what are they? are they wood? are they bark? are they both? and why are they so hard? are they alive? are they dead? and how do they get to be so perfect looking and symetrical?....like there so pretty lookin...

DAY 4: :(

There will be no new posts today cuz im sad. . I miss my girlfriend. if we were still going out it would be our six months today. I love her and i miss her and shes the best friend I ever had.

DAY 3: ALARM

loud noises. stumble out of bed and down hall. shit. 7:00 in morning. fire alarm. very loud. 8 minutes evac time. Fire Marshal=ASS

**UPDATE**

have recovered ever so slightly from the fire alarm. what a dick move...we were all up late at "Introfest" and some jackass decides to have a fire alarm?! good move Trent, good move. Anyways, thought id briefly mention to you what is happening today. Gowzski is supposed to be having a &:30 Breakfast with Champlain....that never happened. but after that im supposed to go to a History lecture with Larissa and then a Physcology lecture. seeems pretty interesting. After that we are going into town and then tonight theres a kegger....all you can drink for $10 somewhere down town. here are some things i need to pick up.

• Hooks for the wall
• Cigars
• Batteries for camera
• Disposable camera (plausible...)
• munchies and drinks
  
• Materials for making a zipline from the bridge to Issaacs rez....its gunnah be sweet.
• Photo Paper
  

I also have a few things i wouldnt mind getting from my parents...this is kinda just in here as a reminder for myself

• Leighs picture thats on the fridge
• photos
• photo paper....WAIT THATS GOING ON THE OTHER LIST!
• fishing rod
• posters
• water and pop
  

Day 2: DRAGONETTE

So a lot of you people reading this blog may not believe this incredible story, cause really its incredible adn hard to believe. I, Ben Mccoll, have met the imfamous Dragonette and here is how the story unfolds...

Aight, so I'm chilling with these babes at introfest around 10:00pm and so then these chicks ask me if I want to drink with them so I'm like 'Aight, I'm down wit dat'. So I follow them to the girls washroom where we plan on drinking, I am then told by someone in the washroom quarters that I am being extremely rude by infultrating the females facility. So I'm like 'Aight' and I peace. So I'm chilling in the stairwell waiting for the girls to exit and Dragonette walks up the stairs. I thought it would be nice if I got my girlfriend, Leigh, an autograph cause I told her I would, even though I was just joking. So I follow Dragonette up these stairs and there is all these chicks trying to get a pic of Dragonette. So I was like 'I will take this picture, for a small fee of one beer', and Dragonette was like ' Aight'. So i take this picture of these broads and they leave and so I end up drinking One, Two, Three, Four, Five beers with Dragonette. I chill with her and her entire band for like four hours ( really one and a bit) so I'm like mad shit-faced and I'm about to leave and this guy Mark is like 'Yo take all this vodka and all this redbull before you leave Benny Boy' So I'm like 'Aight Mark see you around'. In the moments that unfold after wards I rappidly text my friends, Maddy and Larissa, cause I'm shit-faced at Champlain. So they come rescue me, now we are all chilling in my room, and Maddy is typing this beautiful story for me.

Still no Chung

History and psychology lectures tomorrow before going to town

Yours truely,
The drunken Ben Mccoll
(interpreted by Maddy Smith)

DAY 1: FIRST DAY

Hello!!!
Very exciting first day at Trent University and I am just now starting a blog to document all my crazy adventures before I head out. Last night was tons of fun. Made some awesome friends (Max, Zac, and Larissa) and we all had a dance/bonfire last night. We also had a cheeroff, but after deciding that was mediumly lame we took off and chilled by the river for a bit. We may or may not have been under the influence of various substances and raided the ISW fridge for pizza....anyways...thats not blog apropriate so I'll pretend I never mentioned it in here. We also discovered that "Chun" my bathroom roomates room was unlocked....so we explored.....he's seemed to have vanished and i have an entire bathroom all to myself! :D

I still have a few things to do...

• Start a blog (DONE!)
• Ask about canoes at Trent?
• Go to a philosophy lecture today
• Check out timmies at Batta Library
• Read for atleast an hour. (See....i am responsible)
• Check trent email (ALSO DONE!)
• Solve "The Mystery of the Missing Chun!"
• JOIN THE FENCING TEAM!!!! FUCKIN EH!
  

well...i got a cheer off to head to....i know....at 7:00 in the morning?! what the christ!!!