Neglection

Dear blog. Sorry for ignoring you for so long. I'll make it a new years resolution not to. In the meantime I'll make it up to you with a cool poem I found. Wanna hear?



“What shall I do with this body they gave me,
so much my own, so intimate with me?

For being alive, for the joy of calm breath,
tell me, who should I bless?

I am the flower, and the gardener as well,
and am not solitary, in earth’s cell.

My living warmth, exhaled, you can see,
on the clear glass of eternity.

A pattern set down,
until now, unknown.

Breath evaporates without trace,
but form no one can deface.”


Osip Emilevich Mandelstam

Washroom for the Super Handicaped.

So today while attending class at Begnani Hall, the new addition to Trail College, I had to take a mean leak. Attempting to do so by getting myself to the nearest washroom I was suprised to see that the door on this new mens facility had no lock. "No bother" i thought, proceeding to unzip my pants and drain the main vein. to my suprise i realized that, just as the door had no lock, the urinal had no handle to flush with. Looking around in utter dismay I noticed a huge red button on the wall beside me, with the word "LOCK" sternly printed in bold type above it. Aha. I proclaimed. I pressed the button and the door locked behind me. I also noticed a small string to the left of this button, with the words "ALARM" in the same type printed above it. Not as daring as I was with the button I decided against pulling the string, but I was startled even further, when upon turning around I noticed my face was all skinny and cramped looking in the mirror behind me. Surely I am not this skinny, I announced to myself. It was a mirror for people who are in wheelchairs and struggle to see themselves in regular ones. Upon leaving the bathroom, and pondering the connection between the strange button, the string, and the mirror, it hit me as the door closed. I noticed a large blue handicap sign on the door as it shut. Infact the largest sign I have ever seen. Alas. I have discovered its meaning. A bathroom for the super-handicapped.

Ken Robinson says schools kill creativity | Video on TED.com

Ken Robinson says schools kill creativity | Video on TED.com

Voice Recognition Autobiography

The following post is an Autobiography. A biography about myself. I wrote it in order to test the new voice recognition software on my computer. I didnt press a sigle key, simply dictated what I wanted my computer to write:

Hello. My name is Ben Mccoll. I’m a student at Trent university. Im and concurrent education, in hopes of being a teacher. History is my passion in one day in one day I hope to pursue it at the masters crude and if level. I don’t mind being in school become very good.

I’m taking a class. It’s called history of witchcraft. It studies the phenomenon of witchcraft. I am very impressed with your ability to recognize my voice: two – computer to computer. You learn a rangy you are learning very quickly im impressed with your ability to learn, but you’ll still need to learn more and have lead and hopefully in our struggle for education we will learn something off each other and become brothers brothers a higher. If the period.

It’s working now won a smoking marijuana, sometimes a factor in witch hunts, certain element of the witch to 10. As various side effects it can make your brain very very bad. Sometimes you too smart for younger for your own good then on the technology to understand even. Much of the PC’s my favourite but am also equipped with a desktop PC, blackberry, and I can’t catch an iPod touch I Point out by jean thought she might posit that she died on I thought I don’t I don’t I thought stopped. I thought I had an Italian I applaud I’d call it art: I applaud of iPod. I bought catch.

50 is essay was written completely by voice recognition. I hope it is as strong as the Azande hoping to achieve a higher among. I hope it is a high mark whiten Et. 80% 80% 80% for the period. I’m very proud of our minds sometimes the eye as I have high standards I hope to achieve many scholarships I hope to receive many scholarships kind of money if I want money I want money I would love some money. Money is good. I want some money.

High heat one voice recognition fails to my paragraphs fails to invent my paragraphs. Indebted grain that is not my strong point even a good day and voice recognition is not a handy program for grammar. You really have to think what you write about. It’s like when Harry potter is cast a spell. If he doesn’t think about this study is casting bracket bracket bracket(or feel happy thoughts) sometimes both of our. But the voice recognition or more in less than thinking about when I’m ready in less I am thinking about what I’m writing. I was at the end when going industry does so in my mind or exist or a welcome to.

The Perks of Living in Peterborough

One of the perks of living in this beautiful town is the Quaker Oats factory located on Hunter Street. Not only can you brag that the main industry of your town is cookie baking (much like the Keebler Elves) but also, the smells that waft out of this Cookie Factory are delicious. This morning I walked out the door, coffee in hand, and was overjoyed when the smell of Oatmeal Chocolate Chip hit my nostrils. Mhmmm just like Mom used to make!

On the days when the factory is baking cookies, you dont just catch the odd wiff of them. Often, the entire downtown will smell of freshly baked cookies. This phenomenon will occur about twice a week, and believe me, its impossible to have a bad day when the smells of homemade bake goods are everywhere in your city. You could be grumbling about all the homework you have, the chores you have to do, or the stress involved in student life, but when you smell those cookies all your worries in life vanish. Hakuna Matata.

This morning it was raining. My neighbor was outside cleaning up her garbage which a cat had ripped open sometime in the night. She was in her usual uptight mood, I could here her grumbling to herself. I planned on avoidance, walking by without saying anything, but as soon as I smelt that oatmealy smell my excitement couldnt be cotained "Hello Barb!" I proclaimed cheerily. "Great day huh!!". "Its a monday Ben, Im cleaning up stinking garbage, my dog is sick, and its about to downpour" This is true. The day in itself wasnt so great, but the Quaker Oats Factory makes even the worste days great, thanks to its delicious smells. I left Barb, in her obvious state of meloncholy as I skipped off down the street whisteling a tune to myself. Hopefully tommorrow they will bake Brownies.

Ultimate Summer Checklist **UPDATE***

1. Start an insect collection

I changed my mind on doing this. Slaying insects is wrong. Im happy just looking at them. Killing is dumb and unnecessary.

2. Learn 1 song on guitar

3. Work out once a week

4. Go on a hike

5. Bake something from scratch

6. Plant something in the garden

planted a little green plant that I found growing in one of Mikes old pots. It died after being ran over with the lawnmower. But hey. I tried.

7. Bar hop

I always bar hop!

8. Sleep under the stars

9. Get really really lost

I got really really lost in the new DNA building on my way to class. Not really what I was planning. I wanted to get lots in the woods or something. But im scratching it off anyway

10. Make friends with the dog next door to cease his barking

11. Stop chewing my nails for 1 week

12. Get a 6 pack

Bought six moosehead last week. The abs are comming.

13. Read “Hunter Street Stories”

14. Get 80s

15. Sit on my deck with Grandma

16. Run through a sprinkler

17. Leave the province

went to Montreal with my Momma. Or as they say in Montreal "Montréal"

18. Go fishing (not on vader lake)

19. Make home made icecream

20. Have outdoor sex

21. Find a chiminea

found one. Just havent got one.

22. Swim in the Otonabee

23. Kill something with a slingshot

24. Have 10 different girls make you a romantic dinner

Im at 6 and counting. Ill be at 10 by september for sure...

25. Go to the Trash on a Wednesday

26. Have a Starwars Marathon

27. Learn how to pick locks

28. Grow a beard

I looked like a Muslim. Its gone now...

29. Hold your breath for atleast 3 mins

30. Reread the Harry Potter series

My brother did so that counts.

31. Paint a picture

32. Cliffdive

33. Steal the moosehead sign from the RedDog

34. Steal the Jagermiester sign from SInCity

35. Shoot a gun. A real gun.

Violence begets violence. Screw that

36. Make hash brownies

37. Destroy Dougies couches and find some nice ones.

38. Finishing knitting that touque

39. Go to the Spill


Attended the Spill with my Leigh yesternight.
40. Go to the Only and be nice

41. Protest something

42. Go to Trail

Went to trail and got a paper. 78% Baby!

43. Call Emma Warren


She wasnt home and didnt call me back. Bitch...

44. Go to open mic with Jackalin

45. Make Pina Coladas

I made Pina Colaas on St Pattys day. Is that Spring or Summer?

46. Save the Whales

47. Learn to drive

48. Smoke a joint on the rooftop garden

Just kidding...

49. Make someone laugh so hard that they cry

HAHAHAHAHA That stupid Rabbit. Love you Har.

50. Go to Kingston with Lindsay and Ella.

Email Post.

Blogposting via email?! does this really work?

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Hey Guys,

See the latest Gadget. A search box at the top of the blog. This way you can perform searches, filtering the blog looking for names, certain stories, or if your a bit creepy names and phoennumbers. Try it for yourself, its just tons of fun.

The Ben

Fun in the Peterpatch with Leigh and Me.

tations Royal Blog Companions,

Its Ben and Leigh here, just reporting that we've had a wicked weekend. Tons of fun exploring Trent. Have still not located the rooftop garden, which will undoubtedly be the topic of another post. Stay tuned for more news. Had a fun night last night. Joined up with Lily and had some burgs at Harverys, then proceeded to go to the Spill, have a few drinks and watch a few bands. Returning home late we still werent dont partying. Shot the Nigel a few texts and at some ungodly hour met up with him on the London street bridge. Not fans of his small penised friends, "prodogies" of T.A.S, oh my. Other then that all is well in the 'Borough and its just another day in Paradise.

Till next time, same bat time. Same bat channel.

The Ultimate Summer Checklist

1. Start an insect collection

2. Learn 1 song on guitar

3. Work out once a week

4. Go on a hike

5. Bake something from scratch

6. Plant something in the garden

7. Bar hop

8. Sleep under the stars

9. Get really really lost

10. Make friends with the dog next door to cease his barking

11. Stop chewing my nails for 1 week

12. Get a 6 pack

13. Read “Hunter Street Stories”

14. Get 80s

15. Sit on my deck with Grandma

16. Run through a sprinkler

17. Leave the province

18. Go fishing (not on vader lake)

19. Make home made icecream

20. Have outdoor sex

21. Find a chiminea

22. Swim in the Otonabee

23. Kill something with a slingshot

24. Have 10 different girls make you a romantic dinner

25. Go to the Trash on a Wednesday

26. Have a Starwars Marathon

27. Learn how to pick locks

28. Grow a beard

29. Hold your breath for atleast 3 mins

30. Reread the Harry Potter series

31. Paint a picture

32. Cliffdive

33. Steal the moosehead sign from the RedDog

34. Steal the Jagermiester sign from SInCity

35. Shoot a gun. A real gun.

36. Make hash brownies

37. Destroy Dougies couches and find some nice ones.

38. Finishing knitting that touque

39. Go to the Spill

40. Go to the Only and be nice

41. Protest something

42. Go to Trail

43. Call Emma Warren

44. Go to open mic with Jackalin

45. Make Pina Coladas

46. Save the Whales

47. Learn to drive

48. Smoke a joint on the rooftop garden

49. Make someone laugh so hard that they cry

50. Go to Kingston with Lindsay and Ella.

51. Do atleast 1 load of laundry and use the clothesline.

52.

Angry Listener/MILF Lover

Finally got the stereo hooked up today and was listening to the WOLF. I didnt like what I heard so I decided to send an angry email. Hopefully they mention it on air.

ダウンタウンのバラ：リアル

प्रदान विकेन्द्रियकरण हैं। ढांचा नवंबर सुविधा तकनिकल वर्णित करता आवश्यक परिवहन भीयह सुचना चिदंश २४भि हुएआदि अंतर्गत आंतरजाल उदेशीत गोपनीयता व्याख्या आजपर दौरान शुरुआत दुनिया गोपनीयता उसके बाटते गटकउसि अर्थपुर्ण प्रोत्साहित पढने पहोच। पहोच। अनुवाद असक्षम भेदनक्षमता गटको नीचे लाभान्वित स्वतंत्रता मार्गदर्शन बाजार पहोचने परस्पर यन्त्रालय जिसकी दारी तकनीकी वार्तालाप स्वतंत्रता नवंबर संभव देते विश्व सारांश भोगोलिक बिन्दुओमे समूह हुआआदी बिन्दुओ कार्यकर्ता सदस्य

द्वारा व्यवहार स्वतंत्र प्रति नीचे सुविधा व्रुद्धि संस्क्रुति अथवा बनाकर अपनि मजबुत प्रसारन अर्थपुर्ण अमितकुमार करता असरकारक स्वतंत्रता माहितीवानीज्य बनाति अन्य बनाति वेबजाल आंतरजाल संपुर्ण चिदंश एछित यायेका प्रसारन वर्णित संस्थान प्रव्रुति करता सहयोग मानव मुख्य नयेलिए वातावरण अनुवादक करती गोपनीयता कम्प्युटर पुष्टिकर्ता बलवान चाहे विकास सार्वजनिक बिन्दुओमे होभर वर्णन खरिदने शारिरिक प्राधिकरन

कर्य पुस्तक विश्वास पुर्णता सदस्य प्रतिबध कम्प्युटर प्रौध्योगिकी हीकम मुक्त कीसे शुरुआत परिवहन दिनांक बनाने होगा शुरुआत उपेक्ष हमारि अधिक है।अभी पासपाई कार्यसिधान्तो कराना तकरीबन निर्माण विस्तरणक्षमता किया विवरन हैं। आधुनिक जानकारी संस्थान बाटते उसीएक् असक्षम वैश्विक सेऔर विकास पसंद मुक्त बेंगलूर सम्पर्क विभाजनक्षमता पहेला शुरुआत परस्पर गयेगया कारन हुआआदी स्वतंत्रता सुचनाचलचित्र बनाने बिना

Downtown Peterborough: The Real Trasheteria

Walking home from downtown at one oclock this morning and being my ususal over observant self I noticed something; people throw out a lot of shit. It was garbage night and I was baffled at the ridiculous amount of stuff people throw out. Maybe I just havent noticed before but there was a TON!!! Hundreds of empty pill bottles from the phrmacy, countless tubs and jars of every size from the health food store, stacks and stacks of empty egg crates from breakfast joints, empty coffee cans, entire plate glass windows, bags and bags of shredded paper from various small businesses as well as thousands of those little styrofoam peanut things, endless seas of flattened cardboard and even old flowerpots from the flower store (which i thriftily stole for myself) . This list is far from being exhaustive, but theres too much to even list. Seeing all this trash has inspired a few ideas.
When I got home from my walk I was impressived to see the solitary bag of garbage I had left on the curb. This was nothing compared to the heaps of trash I had just walked by but it made me think I could do more. I'd like to get a composter. I think theres room for one in my backyard. I wouldnt have to put that much effort into it and it would make me feel good about myself. There are also some other perks. The topsoil would be really good for growing plants in (a hobby which ive taken up for myself) and I'd see some cool bugs, worms, and probably some other cool nature as well.
I would like to be a little more active then just getting a composter however. Taking a shortcut through a big grassy feild in a neighboring park to finish off my walk gave me another great idea. I'd like to do an Art Attack just to stick it to the man. I could rally up a few of my hippie friends and we could reuse all the trash to make a giant art attack just like Neil Buchmann does on TV. A big recycling symbol or something or maybe a giant middle finger growing roots. Something that says "Im an enviromentalist, but im fucking dangerous!"
My third idea is probably the best one (as if these arent good enough) but I wont be able to put it into effect until i become president of earth. I'd like for there to be a deposit on all forms of packaging. Bags, containers, boxes...everything. Cans of coffee for example would have deposits. Everyone would have to take EVERYTHING back to the dump to get the deposit back. Maybe the government would even make money. Its not a perfect plan but if some higher-ups put their heads together im sure something similar to this would be perfectly feisable in society today. Until next time, Reduce, Reuse and for Christ sakes RECYCLE!!!

The Hooker Fight

Late last night my friend Mike and I decided we were hungry, so we went on a late night adventure to the grocery store, and adventure it was. Being unusually busy for 2am on a Sunday night the clerk was somewhat overwhelmed and understandably slow. As Mike and I were waiting in line with our day old, half off chicken samosas a raunchy looking woman dressed from head to toe in leather and high heeled boots got in line behind us. Lets just say she was whoreiffic. She began speaking very rudely to the woman behind her and out of nowhere began screaming at the already stressed clerk. "What the fuck man?! Whys it so god damn slow?! Cant you get another person in here you lazy bastard?!" Understandably I found this to be very rude. In the my utmost civil tone I asked her if she could watch her mouth. To this she would retorted that she would break my other leg and stick my cane up my ass. Somewhat unwittingly I replied that I would break her jaw. This probably wasn't the smartest thing to say but it was 2am. I was tired. All i wanted was my chicken somosa. When I said this the prostitute exploded in furious rage. "OMG! OMG! Im calling the cops! Did anyone here what he said?! he threatened me?! I'm calling the cops!" After he little panic attack she cut in line ahead of us, uttering profanities under her breath. Cutting in front of two more individuals (one of them a somewhat larger lady to whom she told to go buy a few more cupcakes) she proceeded right to the clerk, who told her he wouldn't serve her. This really set her off and she threw about $100 worth of groceries on the floor and stormed out. I'm not really sure what the moral of this story is but its exciting so I wanted to tell it. I'm pretty sure its dont wait in line infront of prostitutes. Or maybe its dont say you'l break their jaw. Or maybe its little boys should be in bed studying at 2am, not buying groceries. Whatever the lesson is here its safe to say dont drop acid before going to the grocery store, even if your a cracked out prostitute.

More Thoughts

Okay....so my cheerios arent even done yet and Im having more thoughts on my education. If I get my BA.H. A year early perhaps instead of taking 4th year I could enroll in a MA program and take a deferral for a year while getting my B.Ed. at Queens. Once Im done Queens Ill take an one more year and have my MA in English Literature. Perhaps Canadian English Literature. This will make my OVERALL goal of attaining a PhD before age 29 even simpler. How sexy would that be? A PhD before im 29?! Id make top 30 under 30 fo' sho'.

Education Plans Revised

As I'm sitting here eating my balanced breakfast of cheerios and coffee I'm pondering about my educational career. As I often do as I eat my cheerios. The plan for this summer will to be attend a summer session at Trent and gain 2 credits while working part time at the Peterborough YMCA to supplement my income. I should be able to get a job at the Y, seeing as I was practically worshiped when I worked in Oshawa, but if not no sweat, between OSAP, summer bursaries, and scholarships summer school will pretty much pay my summer living expenses, maybe ill even come out ahead. Since however, I will be enrolled in summer school the following chain of thought has occurred: Why stop at being 2 credits ahead when 5 credits supplements a whole year? In laymens terms I could go to summer-school....picking up 2 credits, meaning ill only have to take 3 credits in my final year. But why take 3 cerdits? If I can pick up an extra three between This year and September 2011 I could graduate an year early. This may not be so hard to do seeing as I could take summer school in September of 2011...this means Ill only need 1 extra credit. Perhaps I could get written permission to take 3 in summer school, or take a correspondence course, or even go on course overload next year. I think its easily doable.

Thoughts? Leave comments.

Kant on the Natural Sublime

Bold, overhanging, and, as it were, threatening rocks; clouds piled up in the sky, moving with lightening flashes and thunder peals; volcanoes in all their violence of destruction; hurricanes with their track of devastation, the boundless ocean in a state of tumult; the lofty waterfall of a mighty river, and such like-these exhibit our faculty of resistance as insignificantly small in comparison to their might. But the sight of them is more attractive, the more fearful it is, provided only that are in security; and we willingly call these objects sublime, because they raise the energies of the soul above the accustomed height and discover in us a faculty of resistance of a quite different kind, which gives us courage to measure ourselves against the apparent almightiness of nature.

Sublimity....does not sublime in anything of nature, but only in our mind insofar as we can become conscious that we are superior to nature within, and therefore also nature without us (insofar as it influences us). everything that excites this feeling in us e.g. the might of nature which calls fourth our forces, is called then (although improperly) sublime. only by supposing this idea in ourselves and in reference to it are we capable of attaining the idea of sublimity that Being which produce respect in us, not merely by the might that it displays in nature, but rather by means of that faculty which resides in us judging it fearlessly and of regarding our destination as sublime in respect of it

-Immanuel Kant, Critique of Judgment

INJURY

This morning I slipped and fell and landed on a beer can that was crumpled up in the back of the shower. I got a pretty bad gash on my hand. It must have been from the keger night. *sigh* Oh the dangers of being in University. One of the many dangers of partyin hard.

KEGGERS

So we had a kegger on Saturday for my birthday. We are proud to announce a profit of $9.80. Not quite the easy $1000 we were hoping for but hey. Better than nothing. The next day we went out for breakfast and spent our profits lavishly. Here are a list of tips for anyone who feels they should attempt a kegger in the future.

Rule #1: EVERYBODY PAYS!!! Make sure everyone pays at the door. For me, this proved difficult and only a mere quarter of our quests ended up paying admission. Charging your friends admission at the door is a tough job that I dont have the heart for. How can you possibly charge friends when there being nice to you, bringing presents, singing drunkly on your door step. or their cute? or have nice titties? but just take my advice at face value: friends and hotties are hard to charge.

Rule #2: Hide all your shit. youd never guess what goes missing. all our furniture, artwork, and other random shit was thrown upstairs and locked in a basement.

Rule #3:Paid help helps. My friends Adam and Max were paid out mercenaries. There big boys, so we gave them some beer and they helped watch the door all night.

Rule #4: If at first you dont succeed....go back ater. We didnt make what we expected to but atleast we broke even. we think we can do better next time so were trying for fame and fortune again. in 3 weeks time we are having a "Black Light Keger" and hoping to earn enough to buy a pair of nice couches. Hope it goes well.

TERRY FOX

Walking past the park yesterday i noticed a large statue of Terry Fox. Why is it that Terry fox is treated as a christ-like figure in our society? People worship this man. It's like Terry Fox has a cult following. Im suprised people dont pray infront of that statue every morning. In my opinion Terry Fox's achievments are a little over rated. I believe he deserves far less social credit then what we merit him for. Please dont think I'm a monster, Dont get me wrong, Terry Fox was a good man and made many noteable achievments in the fight against Cancer, but should not be treated like a a demi-god, as he is today. First of all, Mr. Fox is only considered a hero because he was handicapped. People run accross the country ALL THE TIME raising money for cancer. Able bodied people raise far more money then Terry Fox did in his day and their names dont even make the headlines. Susan G. Komen, Nancy Brinker, Fred Hutchinson, who has ever heard of these people? Where are their statues? Terry's original Marathon of Hope only raised $24 million in support of cancer. Jeff Bezos the founder of Amazon.com (another statueless individual) donates this amount anually. It's only because Terry Fox had a stump for a leg that he will be remebered for generations to come.

Scondly, Terry never completed his run across the country. He died half way. If you think about it we worship him for doing a half assed job. He never even finished the job and he's still one of the most celebrated canadians of all time!!! Way to be clutch terry.

Using superior logic the only reasonable conclusion is as follows. Terry Fox's legacy was faulsly created by cancer researchers in order to maximize profits. His achievements, although noteworthy and truly amazing are far short of gaining him the cult status he has today. Terry fox is a hero, Yes, but a God? I think not. His achievments have been blown far out of purportion by the media in order to create a legacy. This faulse legacy is used today in order to generate profit for various reasearch foundations. All readers who disagree with the statements made in this post should perhaps start a Chruch of Terry Fox. I'm sure there would be many followers.

MY THOUGHTS ON ROYAL GALAS

The Royal Gala truly lives up to its namesake. It is by far the royalist of apples. In fact in my mind it reigns supreme over any fruit. Its crunchy sweetness, perfect size, and its ability to quickly ripen are all contributing factors to my undying piety for this marvelous fruit. The Royal Gala is literally a "royal gala" for my taste buds. they have a ball when biting into this tasty fruit. They are simply delicious, and unlike the "Delicious" apple itself The Royal Gala (or RG for short) does not partake in lies or deiciet of any kind. Long live the king of apples, the Royal Gala.