SOME QUICK RULES FOR KEGGERS

So I was at a kegger last night. it was the last one of the year and to tell you the truth it was the only decent one Ive been too this far. I have devised a quick list of rules for all kegger goers that will help keep you alive at any kegger. they are listed in order of importantce.

Rule #1: NEVER drop your cup

Rule #2: Never drop your cane (unless you can get another cup)

Rule #3: Always pre-drink! if in a hurry predrink on the bus.

Rule #4: Try not to push and shove on your way to the keg. only throw elbows when you need to

Rule #5: Stay behind fat people. Often they are a direct route to the keg. No body gets in their way.

Rule #6: if you are have resorted to throwing elbows and sticking with the fat guy in the room loudy threaten "This keg is not very handicap accissible! I'm putting a complaint in with the City!" -people get outta the way pretty fast.

Rule #7: Despite the chaos try to be polite. Mind your manners by with "excuse me" "pardon me" and "shit...sorry....i didnt know she was ur girlfriend"

Rule #8: Every 20 minutes or so walk over to the nearest con ed girl and explain to her that "Shes the cutest girl in the entire con ed program..."

Rule #9: Always wear cologne and chew gum in hopes that those around you are doing the same. You really notice things when your face is being pushed into someones back, or someone elses face is 3 inches from yours.

Rule #10: Never get up at 9:00 the next morning and attempt to write a blog. it probably wont work out.

My Plan to Make Rice...

Okay...so I was out grocery shopping the other day and came across some packages of Spanish rice. They looked freaking yummy so I bought some. Little did I realize that you cant make rice without the use of a stove. It's sidekicks rice so i figured it was instant you know? Like you just poor some boiling water on top and there you have it? Like Mr Noodles or something....anyways....turns out rice like that dosent exist. So right now I am in a bit of a pickle because like i said I dont have a stove...or even a pot...i just figured I could make this stuff with my kettle. But this rice looks DELICIOUS so im not gunnah get discouraged easily. I am a resourceful individual and have thought up a foolproof plan to make some yummy rice.

Phase 1: Borrow Chuns kettle and boil some water in my kettle too. Have both kettles boiling simultaneously.

Phase 2: Pour rice into bathroom sink and plug drain

Phase 3: Pour boiling water from Kettle #1 into the sink over the rice. Quickly refil the kettle and wait for the water to boil again

Phase 4: As Kettle #1 is comming to a boil poor Kettle #2 into the sink. Quickly refil and wait for the water to boil.

Phase 5: Repeat stages 3-4, alternating kettles as many times as needed. Eventually all the water in the sink should be brought to a boil. After about 20-25 minutes of boiling the rice should be thoroughly cooked and after standing for 5 minutes should be ready to enjoy!

This plan will be hard but im sure it will be worth it. If there are any suggestions please feel free to leave a commnent.

Content Warning

Hello everyone. I would just like to inform you that being the clever person that I am I have put a content warning on my blog. it reads as follows:

"The blog that you are about to view may contain content only suitable for adults. In general, Google does not review nor do we endorse the content of this or any blog. For more information about our content policies, please visit the Blogger Terms of Service"

This means there will be no more complaining about the "crude language" or "stupid stories that make you look like a drug addict" displayed in my blog. Ive said it before and ill say it again....life is not a Disney movie...so if you have something to say DONT. You agreed to it. so shuttup.

PS: Harley if you're reading this CLOSE THE WINDOW IMMEDIATLTY! you are not and adult...suka. :P

Yo Grandma!

Yo Grandma! How you doin? For those of you who dont know, my Grandma is the loyalist out there. She follows my Blog religiously....she even prints off every individual post and saves them in a little book! it makes me feel loved. Anyways...just wanted to say Hey to you Grandma! I plan on calling you sometime this week so u can tell me how ur trip was! I also just wanted to tell you that I was partyin hard with Carson this week! He's the guy I used to chill with at ur trailer in the summer. Ignore the inebriated look on my face....I just had a head rush from all the pepsi I was drinking. Anyways...Carson says hi. Heres a pic for you....i hope it finds its way into the scrapbook! Talk to you soon. <3

House Hunting

Your Horoscope - Today, March 8, 2009
You are unstoppable today, dear Ben! And woe to anyone who tries to cross you. But there is no need to be violent, or to express your wishes too aggressively. No one will dare to try and alter your plans, as your sheer force of will is enough to make things happen as you want them to. Onwards and upwards!


You hear that everyone?! Dont $%#% with me today! It may be a little too late to say that, ive had a pretty rough day but thats a story for tomorrow. I was house hunting and im worried someones gunnah beat me to the lease. Apparently not though....due to my sheer force of will! anyways...ill make a post tomorrow. Until then...Onwards and Upwards....haha. Man i sound like an evil dictator with this shit! i love it! peace!

Hello!
I know its been a while since my last post but I just wanted to let you all know that in my recent weeks of blog inactivity I have contenplated becoming an artist. not just any artist, a graphic artist! I downloaded this wicked program for my tablet which has allowed me to unleash my artistic abilities. The above are my most recent works of art. Please keep in mind that it took several hours of hard work for me to complete these fabulous paintings. Please do not reproduce or use them in any fashion without MY permission. If anyone is interested in buying a reprint, please do not hesitate to contact me.

PS: i also drew a really awesome dragon fly....all by myself....but it didnt get saved :(