So I was at a kegger last night. it was the last one of the year and to tell you the truth it was the only decent one Ive been too this far. I have devised a quick list of rules for all kegger goers that will help keep you alive at any kegger. they are listed in order of importantce.
Rule #1: NEVER drop your cup
Rule #2: Never drop your cane (unless you can get another cup)
Rule #3: Always pre-drink! if in a hurry predrink on the bus.
Rule #4: Try not to push and shove on your way to the keg. only throw elbows when you need to
Rule #5: Stay behind fat people. Often they are a direct route to the keg. No body gets in their way.
Rule #6: if you are have resorted to throwing elbows and sticking with the fat guy in the room loudy threaten "This keg is not very handicap accissible! I'm putting a complaint in with the City!" -people get outta the way pretty fast.
Rule #7: Despite the chaos try to be polite. Mind your manners by with "excuse me" "pardon me" and "shit...sorry....i didnt know she was ur girlfriend"
Rule #8: Every 20 minutes or so walk over to the nearest con ed girl and explain to her that "Shes the cutest girl in the entire con ed program..."
Rule #9: Always wear cologne and chew gum in hopes that those around you are doing the same. You really notice things when your face is being pushed into someones back, or someone elses face is 3 inches from yours.
Rule #10: Never get up at 9:00 the next morning and attempt to write a blog. it probably wont work out.
1 comment:
Hey Ben... You sure do have a fine sense of humour! I really enjoyed this article and laughed all the while I read it. Keep them coming! A reader from Oshawa-Anita
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